I agree with Corri - and it is clear that W has been in control of your R all along, and she sees no reason to stop now. That is the problem when one spouse controls most of the R, including sex, within the M for years and years. It is really up the the individual whether to stay or to go -- and it is much more than about sex...it is about living without intimacy and the human touch...a completely natural need for many of us and hard to imagine living without...I would die inside without it. Some can learn to live without it, some bide their time and make other decisions regarding the M. I would ask her if she thought it was fair for you to live without intimacy forever. Just because it is ok for her doesn't mean it is ok for her H. But in the end, choices have to be made, and it is up to you to weight what is more important...I personally think that a sitch like this with someone with a normal need for the human touch leads to miserable resentment, but yes, there are other factors involved and only you know how you are going to handle in the future. I'd move to the basement because it would be best for me...she says it won't be good for the kids, but the truth be known, there is no intimacy between you two...why hide that?
