It's a constant vigilance, isn't it? I find myself doing the very same things - "How inconsiderate," "He only thinks of himself," "Why doesn't he notice I'm sitting right here," "How could he do that," etc.
If our spouses spent HALF the energy doing things to spite us that we make up in our heads - they'd be spending ALL their waking hours plotting how to make our lives miserable! Isn't it amazing how nutty we can be?
As a reminder to myself, sometimes I think about what I would say aloud to S. when he does something that makes me think those thoughts. Taking your example, "H, I can't believe you just took that out of my hand too fast and hurt my thumb. Don't you care about me?" And the way the words would sound out loud is just ridiculous enough to put the thought right out of my head.
