Nik and Pam, Thanks for the visits, girls!!! Nik, I sent you an e-mail.
Had a very good night last night...I got home around 6 and h was relaxing. We snuggled up for a while and talked. Then we decided (OK, HE was the motivated one!) to brave "errand night" and go food shopping. We got stuff to make dinner while we were out and we cooked together. Relaxed in front of the tv after that and went to bed early.
H is planning on going into town tomorrow to see the Red Sox parade -- I just don't have it in me to brave the crowds so I'm gonna catch up on my sleep and my house stuff. Sunday I have a study group and then h is having some friends over for the Pats game. Not sure if I'll hang out at home or maybe visit sis (just had baby #2 and sounds like she's having a rough go!).
QT: Yesterday was all about QT -- just hanging out together, talking, running errands. H was very positive about "errand night" which I really, really appreciate
AOS: I'm not sure I did anything specific here
WOA: Thanked h for a number of things.
PT:
************ One thing happened last night which was a good reminder for me...after we went food shopping and were cooking together something happened where h did something and the thought flashed into my head "how could he have done that? doesn't he care about me?" -- now, it was something like he walked in front of me while I was trying to do something...oh, wait, it was that he opened the freezer door above my head while I was crouched down putting something in the fridge...it just seemed to be so unthinking that I super personalized it. Later, I was handing him something and he took it really quickly and hurt my thumb (which was already hurting from biting my nail! gross!). Same deal...I remember thinking "how could he do that!"
Anyway...after the thoughts flashed into my head the more rational ones quickly followed...(the "get real, sage, he's not doing that to bug you" ones). I did apologize to h for the finger one because I felt like I had reacted badly to him...the REMINDER is that pre-bomb I felt this way about just about EVERYTHING...every action, cough, word, everything from h I interpreted as a reflection on how he felt about me...and as a result I walked around pissed off a good deal of the time...I had forgotten how much anger I had been harboring at that time until I saw the little glimmers of it again yesterday...NO WONDER we were both miserable!!!!!! I'm glad I don't live in that space anymore (just an occasional visit! )
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
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