The love you initiate...

[JinBklyn]

Well, Sage, I have to say, as someone who "wants to be wanted," we can't help what our LL are, and as the book says, our tank gets low when they are not being fulfilled. So when (in my case) I don't get any affection upon waking up in the a.m., or when I don't get enough attention, I can rationalize this to myself as "it's not the time, and just be patient," but my tank gets a little lower just the same.

So what's the solution? Know what you want, and then ask for it. I have a really hard time with this (Southern upbringing, etc.). I would MUCH rather someone read my mind and NOTICE that I want/need something. I'd sometimes rather cut off my feet than ask for something. BUT... how else are we going to get it, unless we are married to a male version of ourselves (and how awful would THAT be?!).

[sage]

Hi Slowly,

Perhaps we should even carve out 'self' days, when we are more self-indulgent?

I think this is a great idea and hits it on the head...sometimes when I'm feeling low and "neglected" it's really about not having taken good care of myself.

Sage

[sage]

Hey Ms. Minnie,

Yes to all you said...!!! I like knowing that my stomping baby attitude isn't unique

Sage

[sage]

So what's the solution? Know what you want, and then ask for it. I have a really hard time with this (Southern upbringing, etc.). I would MUCH rather someone read my mind and NOTICE that I want/need something. I'd sometimes rather cut off my feet than ask for something. BUT... how else are we going to get it, unless we are married to a male version of ourselves (and how awful would THAT be?!).

I am SO this way...I find it so difficult to ask for what I want...and when I DO I get all tangled up and make it HARDER for the person to say "yes" -- definitely an area for me to, um, enhance and grow in.

Sage

[sage]

Had a great night last night...I have to admit that I felt a bit disappointed that h didn't ravage me when I walked in the door (what is UP with me???) but we ended up running some errands (it WAS errand night after all) and then going out to dinner (bad for me because I ate WAY too MUCH).

There were lots of positives -- h was the one that brought up "errand night" and told me again, in detail, how much he appreciates that I suggested making it a weekly thing. This really means a lot to me.

Also, after we got home from dinner he literally "swept me off my feet" -- went to give me a kiss (OK, I have to say that I get a lot of physical affection from h...I NEED to note that and be more appreciative of it!) and picked me up a la "Officer and a Gentleman" -- What a cutie!

We hung out after dinner, watched some TV, snuggled and talked. He told me something about school and when I responded he once again reiterated how supportive I am (++).

How'd I do with him?:

QT: Still doing well here, I think!

AOS: Hmmm...not so much. Maybe errand night counts? The house is a FREAKING mess

WOA: I'll take the "you're so supportive" comment to mean that I'm doing a good job here

PT:

Also, to h's "add on" LLs...

Showing an interest: Kudos to Sage

Peace and Quiet: some internal rumblings after I got home but no crazymaking. I'll give myself a B-

Leaving at noon today to watch our beloved Red Sox SWEEP!

Sage

[unsure70]

Sage, you seem to have turned your M aroung so great. I have been reading your threads as much as I can but would love it if you had a minute to read my thread Unsure and Confused over in newcomers and give me some advice. Sorry I haven't quite figured out how to link yet.

[minnie1]

Hi Sage,

Hope you have a great weekend!

I have to tell you, I am so insired by your dedication and commtiment to show your H love in his LL (s) that I went out and purchased "5 LL of Children" (or something like that). I am dedicated to showing H AND dd how much I love them and appreciate them.

Thanks for everything!
Minnie

[Jamesjohn]

Hi Slowly,

Perhaps we should even carve out 'self' days, when we are more self-indulgent?

I think this is a great idea and hits it on the head...sometimes when I'm feeling low and "neglected" it's really about not having taken good care of myself.

Sage

---

This is SO, SO, SO VERY important to remember and to realize! I've found that it's often the place I need to "check into" when things start to spiral down.

Sage, you are doing just wonderful! You are an inspiration to so many here!

[sage]

Hey a visit from JJ! How cool is that!

Just a quick checkin...weekend is good! Friday night watched the Sox take the series! Yahoo! But they didn't make it easy

Yesterday we went hiking and then did some homework. Went to see a movie last night after picking up some gifts for my sister (newborn baby on Thursday!!!). Today I'm going to see my sister then off to school for a group meeting. H is spending the day at school then we're meeting up later.

Not doing well in the AOS department and it's bumming me out...hopefully tomorrow I can focus on cleaning some stuff up around the house.

I have to admit I'm feeling a bit of fear of late...just the kind of thing where I feel so happy that I get into "what if it goes away" mode...wondering if it's related to the upcoming 2 year anniversary...they say the body/mind reflects on that even if it's not conscious...ah, well, will try to focus on "look how amazingly far we've come in two years" in lieu of "two years ago... " Two years has been a blink of an eye but has also felt like a lifetime.

Lucky, lucky, grateful Sage

[slowly]

Hi Sage - Like you, I feel very lucky to have come this far in personal development, and ability to appreciate the good things

wondering if it's related to the upcoming 2 year anniversary...they say the body/mind reflects on that even if it's not conscious...

This is the unconscious/incompetence, right? We don't know what the triggers are, and how they work, but the net result is an inescapable feeling of un easiness. But now that you 'suspect' this to be the case, I'm guessing that it can be headed off at the pass?

Slowly