First off, I adopted the tracking LL stuff from MovingForward Such a great idea!
I think your thoughts about how we're possibly using different models to assess progress towards goals is apt...and while I commented on h's "clinging" to some myths I neglected to own up to my own clinging to one "the past predicts the future" -- I can easily become very entrenched in feeling that way and then fear steps in and I get totally freaked out
To your point, I think it would be equally valid and wonderful (and very "db'ing") to focus forward on goals...to say "here's what I want in my M, my life and here's how I track how well I'm doing to get there"...when I back myself out of the cheeseless tunnel I'm ok about doing that...it's really the "focus" of my KLA thread -- looking forward and improving some of the areas in my m that can provide strength and a solid foundation, etc. I STILL get stuck (impatient? unforgiving?) around the notion that progress towards goals just isn't always articulated to me in my native tongue...for example...the other night my h used "I want a D immediately" as a messaging system for "this topic is bringing me real pain and I want to stop discussing it". Maybe it's just my thick skull..not HEARING my h's unhappiness until the D word gets thrown about or an EA comes to light.
On the one hand, I often feel insightful and empathetic towards h and on the other I often feel like I must be deaf, dumb and blind when it comes to understanding how he really feels about stuff.
that's why journalling and tracking positives and hearing from you guys helps.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
