I have a question for both you & Jennifer - Have you figured out WHY you still want to talk about the A.?
Both of you have come here, done the work, walked the talk, etc. You both know that the A. was NOT the problem, but a symptom. You both have found (ok, 'sweated') your way back to a committed R.
What will talking about the A. bring (or give) you and the relationship that is missing in the current new R.?
I'm not sure I am articulating this well. I guess I'm asking what's left to say about it, at this point? You've both had conversations about it, both H's feel bad about it, both H's seem to be doing their best to make things better, and I am beginning to understand their POV, that actions speak louder than words, and they are acting lovingly and committed.
Could your questions about the A. be asked in another way? Instead, what led you to the A., or what was being fulfilled, etc. - How about framing questions in the present and future, such as, What gives you the most sense of fulfillment? What do you want from me the most? I'm having trouble coming up those good questions, but I think you understand the point. Rather than digging through the past, how about asking something inspiring about the present & future?
Warning: I ask this of Sage & Jennifer because they've been through a lot of the stuff already. I wouldn't be asking the same question of someone much earlier in the process.
