Quote: Like another whack to the head this morning I realized how accusatory my interaction with h was this weekend. Ugh. I bemoan how he won't "help" me heal but I neglect the fact that I don't ASK him or even articulate to him ways that he could help...instead I sit on stuff and then accuse him.
Ahhh. Yes. This is exactly what I do. On TOP of it all, I LOOK for things he does or doesn't do that indicate that he doesn't want to help me heal. Ugh. Thanks for this, Sage. Good Lord! Where were you when I started this journey! (I know, I know, you were here all along.)
Interesting what H2H was saying over on your KLA thread, about men not wanting to talk about As because it makes MORE stress for them, even while it takes stress AWAY from us. S. recently told me (even as he's made an effort to be open about remaining contact with OW) that he DOESN'T want to talk about it, but is, because it makes me feel better.
But what is better? It always seems to make me feel worse. It brings up all kinds of old bad feelings, feelings of inadequacy, feelings of his choosing her over me (or at least HIM over US), feelings of jealousy, etc. Do you feel this way when you talk to your H, too?
I wonder if it really does make it better to talk about it, or if we just need to work through it on our own. I WANT to talk about it, but I wonder if it's just because it makes me feel "better" to be "right."
