The love you initiate...

[sage]

Wow! I'm overwhelmed by the visits I'm getting -- both from old friends and new ones, too. It's gonna be a busy day for me but I'm hoping to catch up on people's threads this afternoon.

Like another whack to the head this morning I realized how accusatory my interaction with h was this weekend. Ugh. I bemoan how he won't "help" me heal but I neglect the fact that I don't ASK him or even articulate to him ways that he could help...instead I sit on stuff and then accuse him. BLECH.

Had a great night last night...I met him after school and we went out to dinner. We were supposed to go to a movie after that but we were both tired so we decided to bag it. He had planned this date as a surprise so I think he was concerned that I would be bummed (the movie was a re-release of "The Shawshank Redemption" which is one of my top 5 movies) but I think (hope) that I showed him that his comfort and well-being was more important than a movie ANYDAY!!!

He made a wonderful toast to me

I realized that I had been so super "self-focused" last week...I think that was really a precipitator of the blow-up...I was wandering around feeling neglected and (as a result) feeling judgemental instead of focusing on expressing love. Note to self: it ALWAYS works better in my M to express rather than focus on receiving...and the beauty is that I receive as an end result ANYWAY!

I'd like to take a page from MF's book and make a concerted effort to speak h's LL every day...problem is, what is it?

I think (in priority order) it's:

-- quality time
-- acts of service
-- words of affirmation
-- physical touch
-- gifts

but I also think that "showing an interest" and "peace and quiet" are two important LL's to him as well. I think I'd be well-served by showing a bit of each --with the possible exception of GIFTS.

MY LL? I think the order is:

-- Words of Affirmation
-- Physical touch
-- Quality time
-- Acts of service
-- Gifts

So...today I:
-- spent time with h working on our "sports scoreboard"
-- sent him a loving e-mail

Gotta think up an AOS

........

Sage