I'm a bit late to join this thread hairdog but for what it's worth (after a fairly disappointing weekend) I think the line from Mrs H-Dog "I fear our marriage, no matter how good it is, will never be good enough for you, and neither will I." is probably as close to the truth as it gets. My W is similar to yours, well, maybe a little more compliant but even when she makes her maximum effort it still feels to me that her heart just isn't in it. While watching TV my leg touched hers (nearly accidentally) and she instinctively moved slightly to break contact. In my momentary loss of HOM I told her that I was holding back so much of the real me that if I was to be my true self she would be so overwhelmed with physical contact, love and sex that she would freak out within a week. I'm sure that most of us HDs are much the same. We want to cuddle up while watching TV - not sit in "our own" chairs. We want to snog - not peck on the cheek. We want to flirt and fondle - not play political mind games. Most of all we want passionate spontaneous love making - not mercy sex at a fixed time and place. Realistically, my W is just not the sort of person that can ever come close to meeting these needs and I suspect Mrs H-Dog is never going to come close to meeting them either hairdog. SD - Sorry to sound so defeatist.
