Quote: I fear our marriage, no matter how good it is, will never be good enough for you, and neither will I.
To me, this is just one of those copout bullsh!t lines that should never be tolerated in a marriage. It is self serving and overly dramatic. It is also a smokescreen designed to throw the other person off of the original point.
I HATE comments like this, can you tell!
I think the best way to respond to drama is with logic so I would tell her that of course the marriage will be enough for you, but at the current stage..calling 911, etc, no it isn't.
Having said that, Hairy, I'm gonna put the screws to ya. I don't think you really sent that email with the proper YK spirit. That is, I don't think you really ARE ready to forgive her. She knows this..senses it..and so she responded with a little aggression of her own. Perhaps the reason you sent it was to get a little dig in at her? A "I will forgive you since you are such a bitch and that allows me to take the high road.." I'm not saying this is what you did; I am just throwing out some food for thought. Even if you didn't feel this way, it is obvious that this is how she interpreted it.
Cause, really Hairy, DO you forgive her for being so cold to you all the time? If you do, then hats off to you and I really mean that. I don't have it in me to be that giving and I wish I did.
One more thing: I think the "move" thing is a thinly disguised way of saying that she wants you to appreciate her as a wife. That is, she is basically saying No I won't f*ck you but I DID move across the state and agree to live 2 minutes away from your crazy xwife..doesn't THAT count for anything?!
I don't know how to tell you how to get out of that pickle. On one hand, yes she deserves some whoppin credit for making the move to be with you and on the other, it still doesn't exempt her from ML to you and being a wife in the full sense of the word.
I think some brutal honesty is just what the doctor ordered--from you to her and from her to you. You are dancing around each other sending falsely conciliatory messages when what you really want to do is blast the crap outta each other.
My vote is to blast away and then when everything is finally on the table, you will know if she ever intends to work on becoming sexual and she will know if you ever intend on appreciating her sacrifices in a way that speaks to her (ie, moving to a different place or whatever it is she wants).
I hope this doesn't offend you. You know I have your very best interests at heart. This might be a crossroads for you two and my wish is that it is the GOOD fork in the road that is taken this time.
