Journey, Your situation as an HDW is unique in that you used to be an LDW, so your husband is sorta right in his feeling that it isn't entirely about him. Now, we all would like to think that if our spouse just woke up one day and magically loved sex with us, we'd be over the moon but he is proof positive that it is more complicated than that.
I think that my H struggles a bit with my libido being about him. He knows that I love his body and get turned on just by looking at it/him, but he also thinks that a large part of it is just MY body wanting or needing something from his.
You know why I think he feels this way? Cause this is how HIS sexual drive works!
For me, when I feel close to him, I want to ML. When I don't feel close to him and want to feel closer, I want to ML. When the weather is beautiful outside, I want to ML. When I see his naked body, I want to ML. ETC!!
I don't know what I can do to assure him that it is about him. That he is not always the source of my horniness but quite often he is. And even when he's not the source of it, he is still the one that I want to share this part of myself with.
I think just time and patience with your H is the best course. He will get it, and get you, in due time. Right now, he is probably still sifting through his thoughts and emotions and resentment. But the fact that you can have a 'weird' and off night and rebound from it is SO cool. I know at one time that would have really set us back for a long time.
One more question: Would using humor at this moment be an effective way to deal with it?
