HP, I think what's happeneing is that I keep myself at a certain level of arousal during the day because, quite simply, it feels good! And then, I'd like to ML to my H because, quite simply, it feels good! And because of the ML I end up feeling good about him and am a happy camper.
But he works differently. He is not keeping himself in a state of horniness He shies away from sexual innuendos, not just pertaining to me, but just in life in general. Sex just isn't a priority for him now. He's dealing with it because I am making an issue over it.
Anyway, I am trying to be more sensitive to his POV. And one of the things he told me was that he felt my sexuality didn't have much to do with him. He seems to want to focus less on sex and more on other ways for us to connect.
So, I am trying to tone down my need for sex as a way to just feel good in general, work on finding fun things for us to do as a couple that's nonsexual, and trying to make the sex feel more about him.
So I went to bed last nite just sort of being sexually neutral and just bonding with him in a nice way...and lo and behold, he wants sex! But to make it more fun and exciting , he needs my energy and I just wasn't in that frame of mind. I have noticed this before...when he feels I am not into it, then he gets in the mood to ML. I just couldn't turn the switch on last nite after working hard to shut it off ( well I won't say shut it off because I know that will only get me depressed, just kind of put the dimmer switch on).
Thanks for the suggestions on how to get into gear when we have nites like this...I still need to work on my verbal stuff and suggestiveness...that's really an area of weakness for me.
