Hiya J, Did you start out with a high EC but not a lot of horniness going on for either of you? Or was one of you horny and it just deteriorated from there?
I would say that if the both of you were starting cold...and it just couldn't get to the hot stage...to not worry about it too much. I mean, that happens you know? Probably all it would have taken was for one of you to suddenly become all hot and bothered and the whole thing would have taken off, but sometimes that is just hard to drum up, kwim?
That happens with me a lot; although I am the HD partner I am not always instantly aroused and ready to go. I find myself having a hard time reacting to H and getting in the moment...he picks up on this vibe and backs off even more instead of ramping up his efforts to get me there. At that point, I have two choices: I can call the whole thing off, or I can get my verbal mojo going and see what transpires from that. So I will ask him questions or tell him about a fantasy I was having the other day and try to get either him or myself aroused from that. It usually works. I say it in a spirit of "Let's start talking about sex and I'll betcha we both are horny in a few minutes" as opposed to "This aint workin for either of us, so I am taking drastic measures here.."
Do you think something like that would work? It is keeping the EC alive, in that you are talking with each other instead of retreating into your own worlds and trying to get aroused from your own arsenal of fantasies, never-fail positions, etc.
Just a suggestion and don't let one awkward night get you too down. You two are really making some wonderful progress and are NOT incompatible.
