I had a couple of thoughts that might help you out. Try to keep track of the positives instead of looking at the negatives. It sounds so obvious, but after all this nonsense, I think it's easy for us to keep looking for any little sign that things are headed south. Maybe writing down all of the good stuff somewhere (here or a personal journal) will help you focus on the positives.
Another thought...are you making sure he knows when he does something that makes you feel better? I think they are as hypersensitive to stuff as we are. (My H keeps sayin he is convinced that I am going to leave him.) And if all he hears is that he's not helping, he might start to think why even bother, if nothing is ever good enough. Know what I mean? I've found that, with my H at least, telling how great he is how good I feel when he does stuff that helps me feel reassured increases that behavior.
Try to keep track of the positives instead of looking at the negatives. It sounds so obvious, but after all this nonsense, I think it's easy for us to keep looking for any little sign that things are headed south. Maybe writing down all of the good stuff somewhere (here or a personal journal) will help you focus on the positives. 
