I am always thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way.
You are doing good work and I can tell by the way that you sound that things have settled down and are no where near as frantic as they were a few months ago.
Hard to realize that there are no guarantees, I think we always want to think that there will be a point when we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the A is OVER (and the companion thought that there will never be another A). But now we know that promises do get broken, but life does go on.
But we still keep looking for that assurance, realizing that anything is possible. We just don't ever want to get caught blindsided again, but I am not sure there is truly a way to prevent that.
Try to keep enjoying the moment, living in the moment, loving H for who he is not what he does. Loving him in spite of the fact that there are no guarantees of what tomorrow might bring.
Does any of this make sense?
I guess the collateral damage of the A is that we know too much to go back to our state of blissful naivete.