My dad had an affair with a co-worker 25 years ago. My parents divorced and then remarried each other a year later. I asked my mom how she got past the hurt. Her response was only time will heal you. You can't rush it. Day by day you will feel a little less hurt until one day its not there anymore. She said occasionally she still has triggers but there not as bad and they usually pass quickly.
I know its hard to be patient. Everyday I tell myself I just want to feel better already. We are just going to have to wait it out.
