Thought I'd update the weekend, some kind of neat things happened. H is much nicer and more attentive than I think he ever has been.
Friday afternoon, he initiated ML, and again Saturday morning....he's also hornier than he has been in a long time, pretty amazing for an "old guy" of 49 ; We were talking about all we've learned from our recent experiences, and H commented that "I guess maybe you have to be married 25 years to really fall in love"...He said he had prayed to be able to discern the truth, and that eventually it had become clearer and clearer to him. Said one of OW's famous quotes is "you better get a fire-proof suit if you want to be with me, because I'm bound for Hell". Interesting. H said he knew from the type of personality disorder she has that he would have to let her be the one to end it, or she would never leave him alone, and that's why it took so long ( I know there was a big emotional attachment on his part as well). Friday night S was at a friends, and we watched tv for a while; H held my hand, squeezed it, and fiddled with my wedding ring, smiled at me, and was just so sweet. Topic of OW came up on Saturday, and H just seemed so emotionally detached from her, I could hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes. He said his stomach is not as upset anymore, and he thinks "getting this thing settled" is a big part of that. I asked him if he was feeling better emotionally and he said "yes, I am" and actually sounded pretty happy. I asked him if she still called him at lunch, and he said "no"; I asked if she still emails, and he said "no" that he hadnt heard from her at all. I believed him because he seemed so unemotional about it, if that makes sense.
We went to my brothers for my 50th (yikes!) bday party on Saturday afternoon, stayed all night there....it was fun, only 1 old bf came, H made a comment about him being a "blow hard"....I just validated , said he could be sometimes....but H seemed to have fun. My parents were there, my mom took me aside and told me H "seems so much happier!" and was emphatic that she saw a big difference in him. She also said my new hairdo made me look 15 years younger (now, of course, this is my mother speaking) but that was good to hear the day I turned 1/2 century old! My brother even commented that he really liked my hair, and he's a harder sell than my mom.
Sunday afternoon at home, I was getting something out from under the kitchen sink, and H patted my behind, real timidly. way back when, "Old Deb" probably would have gotten aggravated at him; new Deb turned around, put her arms around him, and enjoyed a great big smooch. It's so much a matter of how you look at things, I've come to realize. Later, I was dusting a lampshade in the living room, and he came up behind me and kissed the back of my neck! I love this stuff! and it's so amazing to me, he never ever did stuff like this before. I hope I can figure out how to get him to do MORE of it (goal setting project here?)
Today, I had to go to a meeting in H's little home town...now this is weird....but some guys whistled at me! it's been a long time since that happened. I thought at first it was my brother in-law, but when I glanced that way, it was actually 2 guys I never saw before.
I also saw OW at work today, she was coming through a doorway in a hall going one way as I was going the other. I just looked at her and kept walking....she said "excuse me"...at least we both fit through the door frame at the same time! I have to say, the woman doesnt look real well to me...she looks like she's been spending a lot of time crying. I still don't feel any sympathy. Don't feel a lot of anger, more like pity and disgust, but not even much of that, it's kind of like she's not worth the effort of any strong feelings. weird.
; We were talking about all we've learned from our recent experiences, and H commented that "I guess maybe you have to be married 25 years to really fall in love"...He said he had prayed to be able to discern the truth, and that eventually it had become clearer and clearer to him. Said one of OW's famous quotes is "you better get a fire-proof suit if you want to be with me, because I'm bound for Hell". Interesting. H said he knew from the type of personality disorder she has that he would have to let her be the one to end it, or she would never leave him alone, and that's why it took so long ( I know there was a big emotional attachment on his part as well). Friday night S was at a friends, and we watched tv for a while; H held my hand, squeezed it, and fiddled with my wedding ring, smiled at me, and was just so sweet. Topic of OW came up on Saturday, and H just seemed so emotionally detached from her, I could hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes. He said his stomach is not as upset anymore, and he thinks "getting this thing settled" is a big part of that. I asked him if he was feeling better emotionally and he said "yes, I am" and actually sounded pretty happy. I asked him if she still called him at lunch, and he said "no"; I asked if she still emails, and he said "no" that he hadnt heard from her at all. I believed him because he seemed so unemotional about it, if that makes sense. 
, said he could be sometimes....but H seemed to have fun. My parents were there, my mom took me aside and told me H "seems so much happier!" and was emphatic that she saw a big difference in him. She also said my new hairdo made me look 15 years younger (now, of course, this is my mother speaking) but that was good to hear the day I turned 1/2 century old! My brother even commented that he really liked my hair, and he's a harder sell than my mom. 
