Your perception of shoulding the bulk of the emotional work is to me just that...your perception; what would your LDH say if asked the same question? Just curious.
I have a gut feeling that if you were to ask any group of people with a relationship problem that they are wanting to work on that they would feel they shoulder the bulk of the responsibility/work...I'm willing to bet the other 50% of the equation feel the same way. Remember they're being asked to step up to the plate and change something/improve (whatever you wish to say there) about their behavior which can be very hard work and very difficult for them to do...if they can do it.
