Quote: I think the two kinds of intimacy are interrelated in a marriage.
SM,
I absolutely agree. I also believe strongly that one spouse should not keep working alone for an extended period of time. Of course, I also don't know what to do when the spouse won't participate or cooperate after the issue/s have been delineated clearly and the understanding is clear that the relationship is going to be totally destroyed.
While I had decided in years' past that my issues were not ones I was willing to die for, ie. divorce over, NOP had reached a point (no children in the nest & passing through middle-age) that he was no longer willing to live in a marital shadow-world.
However, we were *both* willing to work on the marriage and it took about 2 years to hammer out the details, work our way through the relational poop clogging our pipes, and work out most of the kinks. The upshot is that we both love each other, we have had for the most part a good life together, we haven't managed to damage each other irreparably, and when things are working properly, we enjoy each other tremendously.
We aren't just making love on a regular basis, we are interacting fully in each other's life. Isn't that the goal?
