Quote:

People can have sex without approaching any vestige of intimacy. I can see that in a relationship that is already fairly healthy, sex *is* a conduit to intimacy. Sometimes in a troubled relationship sex can still be good, but I think it safe to say that it doesn't necessarily engender intimacy.

Dear Mrs. NOP,

IMO, it's not that sexuality is a conduit to intimacy. Sometimes it is, and sometimes it's just for fun or physical release. I think the more important issue is that lack of sex is an impediment to all forms of intimacy in a marriage.

A book I'm reading called "Rekindling Desire" says that in a marriage with a healthy sex life, sex takes up 10-15% of the marriage's emotional energy. But with an unhealthy sex life, sex takes up 50-70% of the emotional energy. I think the authors pulled these numbers out their butts, but they express the idea that I am trying to get across.

BTW, thank you for posting to this bored. I hope someday soon I can start having intelligent conversations about my marital problems with my wife, instead of just having them with people on the Internet.

Regards,

SM

"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment."
Henry David Thoreau