SuperDave, I would guess that the problem is not the speed with which you lose your edge, but the fact that you KNOW that after she comes, it's all basically over. That would make anyone, ld or hd, lose their edge. I'm with Corri, I love feeling him inside me after a good oral orgasm. Even when I do feel myself winding down (while he's still winding up) I am SURE to keep that to myself and enjoy what we are doing so that he enjoys the experience. To me, this is the essence of ML with your spouse: mutual enjoyment of each others pleasure.
Although I love oral, I only do the Orgasm before IC thing once in a while because it does induce that very thing you were talking about...my interest starting to wane when he's just getting started.
So I think if you approach it with your wife, maybe that could be the tactic you take: To let her know that you love to give her oral (and I'm sure you do) but that you'd like to mix it up with other ways to ML because it often feels that she's winding down when you're starting up and that you are not in sync with each other. What position do you normally ML in? Is there a way you can skip right to IC and touch her while you are ML and shoot for simultaneous O's once in a while? That way, you will both be SO in to the experience because you will be on the same wavelength.
She has probably just gotten used to your current "system" and would have no problem trying something different now that she is amenable to the Friday F*ckFests, anyway.
