Welp. I personally find that I am way more 'sensitive' and it feels much 'better' to have H inside of me after I have an O. But that's just me.
It could be you just need to find a 'quicker' way to bring her to O so you don't lose your edge. Have you ever tried using a vibrator on her? Or watch her use one? Or have her use one while having sex?
Though things sound as they have definitely improved for you, it does sound that developing mutual trust and communication has 'stalled.' If I were you, I'd put my 'thinking' energies there rather on the timing of the O. I think if you can re-establish or strengthen trust and communication, the O situation is going to much, much easier to resolve.
