that's very interesting Corri. I can totally relate to the one-sided effort making here - even though I am more motivated, I suppose, being the more HD spouse. I had a nice talk with my wife a few days ago where we talked about our marriage and where things were going, sex, etc. I won't go into details in your thread. But my point is (I think I have one) that in my case, I am the only one who makes efforts, the one who has to drive change. Whether it's about finances, or sex, or anything. There was a very telling moment in the convo where she said: "we have these talks 3-4 times a year, we talk about how our sex life sucks, and nothing changes." I know that she is not happy abour our sex life either, but she will not do anything about it. Or anything else that we both agree is not going well in our relationship. I always plan and 100% arrange the trips, plan the dates (get the baby sitters, make reservations, etc.), initiate talks about our relationship, and the list goes on. If I don't take the first step, and the second, and keep driving for something, it just does not get done, and we remain at the status quo. I'm tired of that. And I have not grown the cojones to put her square in her two-choice dilemma. Mostly because I am 90% sure she will just give up and opt to let me leave. Is that what your husband would do? Sounds like he complains about the lack of sex but is not willing to work to improve it. The lack of motivation for improvement baffles me - and makes me wonder if my own efforts are worth it.
Sorry, I ended up somewhat highjacking your thread.
The differentiation song:
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
Linkin Park
