GEL, The stigma I was referring to is the Mrs. Roper/Peg Bundy association.
The type of woman who is desperate, etc.
Plus, men automatically think if they hear of a wife who wants more sex than the husband that the wife must not be that attractive. The women that I have been exposed to think that I must somehow have it easier than they do, with childcare responsibilities or finances, etc. They are surprised to learn that this isn't the case--it is just simply that I like sex.
What else.....oh, I think the biggest one would be that all men are horny and if the husbands don't want sex, then the wife is doing something wrong. Either she nags him or she sucks in bed, whatever.
I don't really mind debunking myths (I have had to do it with a lot of other choices that I make in life, such as having babies at home) but this one feels personal somehow. I don't want people going home and speculating on me and my H's sex life and what it could be that I'm doing to turn him off, etc.
The fact is that not all men are horndogs, any more than all women have lower libidos than their mates. There is a whole spectrum of sexuality and I fall somewhere on the medium high section. There is nothing that I can do to change myself, and there is nothing that my H can do to change himself. We will just continue to work with each other and we will get through this marital disparity, I'm sure of it. I have no illusions about my H suddenly turning HD, although his desire level has shot up over the years simply because he stopped withholding and because he keeps it in his mind (due to my insistence that it stay a high priority) and THIS helps him remember to be horny.
That is about all the stigmas I can think of now...actually it is more of a stereotype than a stigma. There are just as many stereotypes about the fellas. I am fond of calling NOP a horny bastard but I know he must be a truly kind and gentle and wonderful man to have attracted the NOPlady.
