Hi Corri! Sounds like a good night to me. I wanted to respond to your question about "dues" and where does that leave the LD person. I can tell you, from my experience, that I never--not once--thought of it as my 'due' and began to expect that every week. I relish and love every encounter and they are all unique in their own way..I don't come to expect his awesome efforts every week. What I do expect is for him to stick to HIS word: 2x per week. He does this and usually (again when I am not pg) goes above and beyond it. The above and beyond part is always a treat and pleasant surprise for me.
So I think this fear of yours may be ungrounded or at least untested. Let's ask the NOPlady what she thinks: Does having much more sex than you ever thought you would make it seem like NOP's demands get higher and you are left to, once again, rise to the occasion?
Secondly, you always talk about not having expectations etc, but I noticed that you had a very clear expectation of what the 'correct' answer to your Why question. What if he had been brutally honest and said, Cause I just need to verb your noun, as Mojo suggested. How would you have felt?
I think part of the problem or disconnect occurs between LD and HD people is because of these types of scenarios. Just wanting to verb your noun can seem repulsive to an LD person who is looking for a solid EC to build the encounter on. For an HD, though, it is a matter of wanting to verb YOUR noun. Does that make sense? It is me seeing my H's naked body and wanting to connect with HIM. At that moment, no, I'm not really feeling any sense of love and tenderness but I am desperately seeking HIM. So perhaps your H is feeling a very strong connection with you at the moment but he is scared to self disclose..he is fearful of telling you his real thoughts at the moment, because he will surely fail the test. He DOES have those feelings for you--no doubt about it--but they may not be at the moment when he is initiating sex with you. You may have to accept this, and press for him to express these thoughts at a different time. It might just never happen, except for those moments in which it feels forced or faked. I do think you should press for the EC, don't get me wrong. He needs to come out of his stubborn jackass mode and give this to you--it is your due as his wife. But perhaps the timing is off, is what I am suggesting.
OR, here is something to consider. Were you touching him when this conversation was going on? As an HD person, I am much more apt to be able to be emotional, feel emotional, and express myself when he is touching me. Not necessarily in a sexual way but just a touch from him. Otherwise the distance (mental distance) is too much and I just can't get there. What helps is when he reaches to me and touches me (or touches me back) and I suddenly feel connected to him, in the way that makes my EC come alive, and the thoughts and words come MUCH more easily.
I know all of this is very Corri-oriented and what you could try doing, but Mr Corri is not on here or you can bet we'd all be jumpin on him, lol.
