Thursday night, H and I went to bed and H says to me:
"Let's do a quickie."
ME: "Why?"
Him: "Why not?"
ME: "You didn't answer my question."
He said nothing more and fell asleep.
Last night, we were talking about that episode, and I bring up emotional connection and it's importance to me. He said that when I asked him "why?" the night before, he knew what I wanted to hear and could not bring himself to say anything. He said he was pissed that he would even have to. I should know what I mean to him.
"But my needs are as important as your own. You feed me, I feed you. Then we are both happy and full. If I only feed you, then I starve and can no longer feed you. It's not like meeting my needs costs you anything, unless you chose to see it that way."
His response: I hear you. I just don't think I should have to, is all.
Later that evening, after we go to bed, H starts in his habitual manner. I stopped him. He throws a fit. "Once again, it has to be your way!! No sex yet again!!"
I told him it did not have to be like this. This isn't a my way or his way scenario, and I was very sorry he chose to see it that way. I told him I was very much interested in developing an 'our way,' so that we could both win.
He said 'whatever,' rolled over and went to sleep.
