Paul,
My story is similar to yours. My H would say that I am the perfect wife to him. When asked, he would say that he could not ask for more and that there is NOTHING I need to change.

I have had to do a lot of reading between the lines and self-examination to figure out how to be a better mate to him. Some of it was quite obvious, some wasn't.

He has, to this day, never stated that I should or could do anything different. I just figured out what makes him tick and began making that a priority in my life (though I am the first to admit that I am sketchy on making it a DAILY part of my life).

So sometimes you will be gifted with a spouse who can spell it out for you, and other times you will have to do a lot of soul searching before it is clear to you.

The way that I knew I was on to what he really needed from me was that his happiness increased by a huge amount. He began to open up to me more and we grew closer together, although the sex stayed the same. So I knew I was on to something that he wanted from me, even though it was never spoken out loud.

Honeypotbelliedpig