D has been up with H all weekend, and I had two days of doing precious little - my way of pampering myself! I felt guilty at times, but then thought, if I can't just do nothing once in a blue moon without geeling GUILT, what's life for? So I stayed in my pyjamas till the afternnon one day, slept in all morning (got to get rid of the dark rings under my eyes...), ate what I wanted when I wanted, and generally was a slob!
My friend came over last night and stayed the night. We just had dinner together and chatted away, went to bed late, got up and had breakfast, went for a walk in the park and then she left.
Then, I got a phone call from H. He told me what time to expect D back down again this evening. Then said, could he come stay the night too, as he had some things to do in town tomorrow? I said OK.
Then he said, one more thing, D has lost her pyjamas! (??? ???)
He tells me, "We went over to OW 2's place for a Halloween party last evening. OW 2 went completely insane at one point, so we just left. We tried to find D's pyjamas, but couldn't, it seems OW had already packed them! This is the last insanity that I am going to experience with OW..."
What the...................????
I don't know if H wants to spill the beans about things this evening, but I am not fool enough to think that with two mad OW packed off that equals H falling into my arms again. I do know one thing, these two women were the most dangerous to our M, as he had already cultivated strong feelings for them well before the bomb, and both were needy, having both left their husbands just prior to all this. I know my H is not the casual dating type.
This weekend I have been re-reading the Five Love Languages book and taking a lot in.
I have been going over all the criticisms that H made of me at bomb time to see what I can learn from them.
For instance, I think that in addition to my not doing much paid work (so that he felt the full burden of bringing home the bacon) what REALLY got to H is that I didn't VALIDATE his contribution (earnings) enough or at all.
We also stopped validating each other about our personal work - preferring instead to use slights and criticisms. The fact is that we are BOTH talented and intellegent individuals!
I can see that my main task over the coming weeks and months is to offer validation and affirmation to H in (subtle ) bucketfuls, so that he begins to feel good about himself in my company.
More later!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
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) bucketfuls, so that he begins to feel good about himself in my company. 
