Hi Ellie, faithful coach and champion of us strugglers,

It is really nice that you bother to come here and help us with your thoughts, even though your R is on track.

Thanks for pointing out the positives. I was left feeling a little puzzled by today's lunch. Anyhow, I just emailed H a brief note of thanks and sent him a photo.

I guess I can do to H and OW just what OW did to H and me, which is to keep in regular touch (by IM in her case) with my H even when she knew that he was married and therefore very much in an R!!

Of course, all my contact will be "innocent" chat ( ), and I will monitor the results I get from H so I don't overstep the mark. What say you?

One thing I forgot to add is that he has indeed, like D said, graduated to smoking cigarettes. When he left me he started smoking cigars, then went on to pipes, and now he smokes cigarettes. All this from a man who told me, when we were married, that kissing a woman who smoked was like kissing an ashtray.

As to being opinionated and arrogant, well yes, he has always been those, but somewhat more toned down, I suppose. I think because I have gone the other way, being more careful of what I say and to whom I say it, it seems more glaring a trait in my H. Like people say here, it seems the LBS really does a lot of learning and pondering, while the WAS blithely carries on with the same old, same old.

Livnlearn

PS I had a good teaching day today. I am trying to concentrate on getting more work that I like and avoiding the really stressful stuff as much as I can, and I already feel better for it, I just have to build up to more work now.

"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates