Forgiveness - Relieving a Burden

[Livnlearn]

First - clarify your goals for this encounter

There are two parts to this encounter. One is to have a pleasant time at the party, have a good PMA and show H my best side.

The second part, after the party, is to discuss some money issues. I will look at the positive side of things, validate H's concerns and let him know what I am doing from my side. Let him know that I wish to work things out fairly between us.

As for the money issue - I think I'vealready asked but forgotten theanswer - is he currently paying more or less than the courts would make him pay in a divorce? If the lesser amount is less than the courts would dictate, then it might be worthwhile to point that out to him.

I believe the courts would expect H to "support his family". Some friends have suggested I just let H pay as much as I want him to, don't stretch myself on the job front, he decided to leave, let him pay, etc etc etc. Well, I have not taken that attitude, but tried my best. I am not taking H to the cleaners, nor "making him pay for his crime". But obviously if he has taken the decision to leave, then there are negative consequences all round, financially.

Then - have the best PMA you can muster. Slip a card into your pocket with DBing notes that you can peek at whenever you need reminding - "validate, 180s, PMA, will this get you closer to your goal?, "etc. Then look sexy as heck and let him see your thong peeking out

Will do all of this, apart from the thong! I have lost 4 kilos in the past three weeks, since returning from holiday. I am rather enjoying the discipline, for a change, of not eating too much, and doing my morning toning and stretching exercises. Now I have to also concentrate on the mental exercises - keeping positive, validating, not reacting, etc etc.

Will let you know how it goes!

Livnlearn