D and I went away for the weekend at the seaside with some other Mums and kids. The wind was up and the sky was full of forbidding clouds, so swimming wasn't really an option, though playing in the sand and walking along the beach was. On Sunday the sun came out for periods so it was better, but still rather bracing! Still, we had a fun time in good company, and we enjoyed lots of laughs.
The last ten days or so I wake up at 4 am whatever time I may have gone to sleep. I feel really tired. I know it is my churning mind waking me up. I am really tired of this. Things look so dark and negative at 4 am.
I am not sure I am ready to have H in my home again, and whether I will be able to carry on As If. Maybe I should enrol for acting classes like some on this BB!
D has been playing up a bit lately, and I harbour this fear that with all the diciplining that I am left to do, she will one day turn around and tell me she would rather live with her Dad. She was cheeky, sulky and uncoperative all of yesterday, from the moment she woke up. I just don't understand why. I hate losing my cool, but she pushed me beyond my limit. I guess, the same way that H can/did. It is the defiant smirk that gets my goat. Anyone know how to deal with that?
Well, I amy even go and get a couple of hours' sleep this morning, as I have the chance to.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
Still, we had a fun time in good company, and we enjoyed lots of laughs.
