The same thought crossed my mind, although I didn't mention it here. I guess it is/was a defensive reaction taken to shield myself from further pain. Early this summer I felt very used indeed.
How to lay one's boundaries and so avoid being a doormat, WITHOUT being aggressive, defensive, seeming unfriendly, etc, is the question, isn't it?
Should I just extend the overnight offer and take it from there? At this moment I really am most interested in having a harmonious relationship with H so that when we communicate about D it is done in an atmosphere of cooperation and friendliness. I don't want to dread H's emails and phone calls. I also want D to feel close to H, and not as if I am an impediment to their R in any way.
I can see another problem coming up. D is currently looking at various after-school activities, as so little is offered at school itself - things like dance, sport etc. The two things she likes and thinks she wants to do both have classes lateish on Friday. H last year grumbled that when D had a class on Friday, she couldn't get a Friday lift up to the hills with his landlord. He made it sound as if I had deliberately chosen that day to annoy him. I really am stretched to the limit in the evenings - only have a bike so can't go right the other side of town to take and fetch D from classes, as well as have free time to get students of my own in the evenings... Then some classes clash with each other anyway. On top of that, H doesn't want her to do anything on Friday. How to juggle it all? I guess I need to talk to him on the phone about all this. All along, he has said he is coming down to the city to live, but it looks like it won't happen for quite a while yet.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
