H and I were talking last night and he said an interesting thing. I hope I will be able to keep it fresh in my mind.
I can't remember what our original topic was (because my mind automatically jumped to sex, yikes!) but he said that people despise weakness. And if a person approaches you in a weak way, you will turn them down no matter what the request is. Weakness turns people off, he said.
Like I said, our original topic has escaped my mind, but I could not help but think of the implications of this kind of thinking on our sex life. Now, this is not new news...we've all read this many times on the board before, but you have to understand--this was the first time MY husband said it! lol So it really made me sit up and notice.
I don't necessarily think that my approach is weak or my initiations are weak, but my behavior after getting turned down is extremely weak. I hardly ever take it in stride with a cheery attitude. I don't fly off the handle, either, but I don't HOM as best as I could. I'm sure that he perceives this as weakness. He has even said to me when I was really losing it in the past, "Do you think you acting like this makes me want to ML to you?" I'm sure it doesn't.
So I have no idea why it was such a revelation to me that my ex-Marine husband might be turned off by weakness...I guess it really wasn't. Just hearing those words out of his mouth made me mentally resolve to not appear weak in front of him--to hold it together and handle myself in a manner that is Honey-worthy.
He hardly EVER loses it and acts weak or needy. So it stands to reason that this is a matter of integrity to him and it will affect how he sees me.
Lots of food for thought! Now if I could only remember the original topic...that is driving me crazy because it sortof proves that my mind turns everything into sex and tunes other stuff out.
