H and I had a good weekend. On Saturday night he offered to give me a hj, although in true LDH form, his words were so ambiguous that I didn't realize that it was just for me until halfway through the experience, lol! I asked him if he would like me to touch him and he said Yes but it took me TEN MINUTES of stimulation to get him hard. Yikes, this is a guy who gets hard at the drop of my pajamas. I told him "I never thought I would say this, but I am SO looking forward to feeling your erection poke me in the back or leg, etc. I'm really missing seeing one that occurs naturally that I don't have to work for!" He laughed and agreed with me.
(for the record, I looove getting poked with the erection, but 80% of the time it is just that--a poke in the back, and off to dreamland..frustrating!:)
So we had sex and I don't think he came. I didn't ask cause at that point I really didn't care, which is SO uncharacteristic of me. But, really, I am so done with trying to compensate for the fact that I am fat and pg. There is nothing I can do about it and at 41 weeks, I am sick of trying. If he can't get it up or finish, then I appreciate the effort and I Love You and hopefully this will be all over soon. There was a part of me, too, that was thinking, Hey if he didn't finish then maybe he will want to again tomorrow! LOL
Which he did. It actually went much better; he was semi-hard this time (this is the FIRST time in our marriage that I have ever had to deal with him not getting hard..most of the time he is perfectly hard but just won't act on that lovely erection) and did finish, so it was all good.
The only thing I cannot figure out about our ML lately is that he has totally changed his technique. Now, we have been together for 10 years. WHY would somebody change their technique after all this time, especially when it's been so astronomically successful? This is just baffling to me! He has been touching me with the roughest touch and lightning fast. Which I like when I am about to come but not when we are first starting out for goodness sakes. Which he knows. I have no idea what to make of this. I bet I've told him that last 5 encounters "Slow down, softer please, ouch not so hard, whoa STOP for a second that hurts" etc! You all know me...I am not timid about saying what is on my mind, although I do say it in a nice way. He inevitably apologizes and tries to do better. My H would not hurt me intentionally for the world. I am absolutely certain that there is not one ounce of passive aggressiveness going on where he is resentful of having to ML to me so he does it purposely rough. That is just not his style. We are very open with each other and he would just flat out refuse to ML at all, if that were the case, and I know that.
Also, when I am having an O, he has started to 'freeze' his hand movements and just stop moving. I have no idea why! He asked a few months ago if it got too "intense" for me and I said sometimes, not often, but you will know cause I will sorta move my body away from your hand momentarily. He asked if he should stop moving his fingers, I said no. He asked what if he stops too soon and I am not finished; I replied that I would continue to move my body against his fingers and he would know to resume things. He seemed satisfied with these answers.
Now he is totally changing his technique and driving me crazy! My word, I wait at least a week to ML to him and when we do he is tryin out all these new manuevers that I don't like and have told him to knock it off! I know I sound frustrated or mad but I'm not. Just sitting here shaking my head and thinking, What is going ON with him? He knows my body better than I do and has always been such an exemplary lover...absolutely the best at oral that I've ever encountered, stamina out the wazoo (NOP I think he could beat you on the push up position indefinitely, LOL!), knows exactly how and when to touch me.... and now this total disconnect and uncertainty of my body.
The only thing I can think of is that the feel of my cl!t has changed, due to increased blood flow, and he is unsure how to touch me. Who knows!
My question is to the guys: Why would a man hear from his partner "Softer, please" and keep forgetting? He has NEVER done this before. There are of course many times that he gets too carried away and is touching me in the way that HE wants to be touched, so I'm not really talking about those times...this is more while we are ML and he is just doing some bizarre 80's rock band guitarist motion on my squeezy bits and I don't understand it. Picture the guy down on one knee, attacking his guitar, sweat and long moussed-up hair flying everywhere and you will get a picture of the strength with which he has been touching me. I suppose I just don't understand what he is not hearing when I say 'that is too hard for me, please touch me softer'.
Oh and I should say that I do not particularly enjoy tender lovemaking. I prefer it hard and somewhat rough. I don't care for slow movements, etc.
Well as I was typing all of this out, I think I may have solved my own mystery. I think that he thinks that it will all be over in a quicker fashion if he does it harder and faster, since that is how I like him to move inside me. Hmmm. He's just trying to rush things along! That's ok, I really do appreciate the fact that he is making the effort in the first place and I told him that last night; that I was amazed at how awesome this pregnancy has been compared to the last two.
Well thanks for reading, even though my mystery turned out to be not so mysterious. I wish he understood that I am like a fine wine--you can rush me and open the bottle quicker, but if you just give it the proper amount of time to age, you won't regret it. And honestly, we are probably talking about 10 minutes here. But perhaps he is having a tremendously hard time staying in the moment and 10 minutes might seem like an eternity to him. But cripes, if he'd just listen to me it really WOULD go a lot faster! Ah well, let's just hope he ditches his new rock star moves and goes back to my regular H after babe is here.
