Last night was a strange night. I attended a moving-out-of-state party for a friend and went with LD SIL.

Her and I ended up getting into a conversation in which she revealed that her H would probably want sex that night and she couldn't help it..she felt rage and nausea at the thought of it.
I said, Nausea?? She replied that the sight of him nauseated her most of the time.
I tried not to personalize this (and jump to conclusions about H) so I said very little. She knows that I am HD and that I do NOT get this type of thinking at all. I just tried to empathize with her that having those sorts of feelings about your spouse would indeed be very hard to deal with.
She ended by saying that she thought she needed to resume counseling because she is not getting anywhere on her own and her H was furious a while back because she got totally caught up in a series of 5 romance novels that were beyond graphic.
(mad because she has no passion for him but will read erotic literature)

I arrived home and my husband was very irritated with me. He had a very bad day at work..really one of the worst he has ever had..and just wanted to go to sleep early. But, according to him, he can't sleep if I and the kids are not here so I was making his life hard by coming home at 10:10. (D's spent the night so they got in bed at a reasonable hour)
I looked at him as if he was the village idiot who everyone loves but no one thinks makes a lick of sense and said, 'It's not my fault you didn't go to sleep..now get in there and do that and stop harrassing me.' (said in a "go away, you're being a pest" voice, not anger or anything)

We went to bed and he was SO irritable. Kicking the covers around, tossing, turning, the whole nine yards. I asked if there was anything I could do to help; he gave me an emphatic NO and I smiled to myself and tried to sleep through his theatrics.
He eventually settled down and went to sleep.

The funny thing is that tonight, he will want sex. This is a pattern for him: have a really irritable night, toss and turn, and then the next night say "boy I really needed to have sex last night; I was so cranky and horny and couldn't sleep."
Sometimes I am tempted to say, Well you shoulda done it last night then, the cafe is CLOSED!
But I don't, lol.

This type of behavior just stupefies me. After all these years of trying to empathize and understand his side of things, I still don't have any clearer understanding of what would make him act like this.

Except to say:
He is, like, SOOOO fused.
(said in my best valley girl voice..)

Oh well I am off to go pick up D's and enjoy this beautiful day outside!
1 day overdue and counting....