For my H, sleep is just sleep. Him falling asleep has NO message other than, Oops I just fell asleep again.
I do believe it is hereditary. I have seen his father fall asleep sitting up on a sofa with a room full of people talking, time and time again. H jokes that his dad did this the entire time they were growing up. It would get dark outside and bam, his dad was asleep no matter what else was going on. (H is one of five siblings, 3 boys, so there was always a lot going on)
I used to think it was funny and amusing but I have trouble with that anymore.
When I am not preg it is SO much better. He still falls asleep but his motivation to stay awake is much stronger because he is actually turned on by me. We had a nice time last night and he was indeed horny for me for the second night in a row which hasn't happened in a while. I am trying to enjoy these last few times and I do appreciate the efforts he goes to.
He told me last night that, as he came, he was holding on to one of my thighs w/ one hand and my breast with the other and he was able to forget that I am an "alien" to him (sexually) for a while and so it was really good for him. The position we were in minimized my belly so I suppose this one will be a keeper til baby is here!
Journey, Frequency was not our problem prior to me getting pregnant. So I know that once this baby is out of my body, he will go back to a decent frequency. We have always had more issues than just frequency but at least that will take care of itself. When I am having sex 4+ nights per week, I am much less inclined to get pissy over him falling asleep, though it still doesn't make me feel sexy at that moment!
Wish me luck in getting through the next couple weeks. I really need to hold it together and appreciate what H has done for me this pregnancy and concentrate on baby getting here safely.
Quote: Frequency was not our problem prior to me getting pregnant. So I know that once this baby is out of my body, he will go back to a decent frequency.
So have you only been on this board since you've been pregnant?
No I was here before getting pg; but frequency was not my main complaint or what I was seeking help/support with.
I wanted help with dealing with an inhibited spouse with little creativity and who has prudish tendencies that tend to squash my own enjoyment of ML with him.
I'm hoping that as time goes by we will continue to progress... I think we are much more relaxed about the topic but I don't know if he is willing to work through his fear of actually DOING some of the things we talk about. For him, the talking is enough--for me, it isn't.
Quote: I wanted help with dealing with an inhibited spouse with little creativity and who has prudish tendencies that tend to squash my own enjoyment of ML with him.
Hmm, I can relate to this.
She has told me that she isn't very creative in coming up with things, but everytime I have tried to suggest or inspire her (I have brought home a bunch of books with fun sexy suggestions guarentted to drive me wild) but she either never reads them, reads them, never to follow through, or tells me it isn't fun because it feels scripted, or the classic, that's just not me.
H initiated in the middle of the night last night.
This was the 3rd day in a row that we have had sex. So the whole "desire during preg" thing is both true and false. I have no doubt his desire goes down but there is more to the story than that. When he is horny he manages to put all of that aside. Then he wears himself out and finds that he can't get back into Sex Mode. This was his M.O. before I was pregnant so I feel confident that the pregnancy dynamics have little to do with it.
I have written before that he is very cyclical. He will want sex 3, 4 or 10 days in a row and then nothing for a week. I would probably be okay with that setup except that he starts to act weird (truthfully I am sure BOTH of us are acting weird) during the week off. It is odd to be that close, physically and otherwise, with a person for several days or weeks in a row and then...poof...nothing.
And he will NOT let me get close on the off cycle. I continue to try and he continues to let me know that he needs his space.
at any rate, the weekend was great! I was hoping all this sex would put me in labor but no such luck. I have so much energy. Isn't it crazy how sex makes HD people energetic and feel as if they can conquer the world?
So this weekend was excellent from a frequency standpoint, but it did make me remember how things used to be and what exactly the problems were back then. (one of my gripes was the Sexathon-followed-by-drought dynamic..)
Oh well we had a wonderful weekend and I am proud that my H tried to overcome his hangups and just go with what he was feeling. I hope it continues!
That is fantastic. I have to tell you that I could tell that you must have gotten laid this weekend before I read this post because your response on my thread was so upbeat. LOL
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
