Oh yeah, I understand the motivation for leaving out that little detail
Sounds like a good opportunity for differentiation: "Well H, I'm going out for dinner. You can get a sitter and come with me or I'll find someone else (I'm sure Hairdog would be willing to have dinner) to dine with. Your choice." Just because it wasn't good for him doesn't mean it wasn't good for you, besides, he's not stuck at home all day with the wee ones. You go girl!
Lil, We were married for a bit over 3 yrs before we had our first, and like Mr HP, Mrs GGB's LD nature was already well established. She used to blame it on the kids, but I quickly called her on that. I Just didn't have the 'nads back then to put my foot down on the whole sex issue. It wasn't until I read TSSM that I realized that SSM is as common as it is, and that I might be able to do something about it. Before that, I had resigned myself to it being my lot in life. If you accept the SSM as unchangeable, then you really have only a few options to escape it: suicide, murder, insanity or divorce...none of which are the least bit palatable...well maybe divorce for someone who divorce is not morally wrong (that list wasn't mine, it was in the review of one of the books I was looking at before I found SSM). Considering that, I felt trapped and rather miserable even though other aspects of my M are/were reasonably good. I rarely even brought the sex issue up other than pestering her for some night after night until she gave in. Funny thing is W and I are fairly well differentiated in things other than sex.
