Lil, We were married for four years before we had any kids and one benefit of that was that it allowed me to see his libido for what it was. I have no doubt that had we had kids right away he would have blamed everything on them and assured me that things would get better once they were older. He still does that and every single time I remind him that it was like this before they came along.
I have found that this repetition is necessary in dealing with my situation. Otherwise he will try to rewrite history every single time! It was NOT the kids that caused this, although I do think that they absolutely exacerbate the problem. Prior to having them, I actually felt suffocated by H at times. He loves/loved spending time with me and I needed my space at times. Seems funny to think about that now when I'm begging for time with him!
GGB, You know I knew I was leaving out the "first time with a babysitter" part of the story but I was pissed, what can I say. I wasn't intentionally leaving it out but I was not in the mood to say anything that would generate even the smallest iota of sympathy for him. So I opted to leave that morsel out.
He did okay. He has said that he does not want to do it again anytime soon. It wasn't "worth it". Perhaps we will leave babysitters for those extra special days when we want to be gone for a good part of the day, as opposed to just dinner and light shopping.
Or maybe I will say Screw you, H, I've found someone else to dine with and you can stay home with the brood!
