Didn't make dinner last night as there was a wreck on the expressway and the traffic was backed way up across the bridge.
Talked with G a bit on the phone and he says S says next will come irratibility and depression. Sounds like such fun. I am fuzzy, sleepy and disoriented feeling again this morning, but I also took a Tylenol PM before going to bed so some of this is probably the aftereffects of it.
I have no idea how long before my brain will hopefuly pick up it's own production of seratonin, (sp), I hope quickly!
I have decided I am back to just leaving D alone to work on PK at his own pace. I thanked G for his offer of dealing with him and being willing to call him at J's if that was the only way to reach him.
Need to get more of the unpacking done, took a break from it last night so maybe tonight will get productive again.
Hope everyone is having a wonderful day.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I am following the directions the doctor had her secretary call and give me several months ago. I did not stop then as I ordered another 3 months of the Zoloft and so far D's insurance didn't kick that back at me although I ordered them in August before I knew the divorce was final in July.
So although I'm not under her care I am following the directions she gave me. Although S told G I need to be under a psychologist care to get off of them. He also said that about being on them, so I am sort of not following his advice here.
She said to take it to half a tablet, for 4 weeks then half every other day for 2 weeks.
S just says that this is the side effects of getting off of them. I knew I had heard people say sometimes they are rough to get off of.
I didn't actually talk to S, but G has made it sound like it is going to be really tough. I am thinking positive that it won't be that rough.
I do know everyone responds to them differently so no way to know for sure what side effects I will go through.
Zoo told me she had an awful time going off of hers.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Hey there Pam! Just stopping by to wish you a good day! You sound so much better than when last I checked in in April! Last we talked was around the time of the move(July?)and then the bomb four weeks ago for me...... Em me about your move.
Weathering the storm here, but won't belabor you with all the gory details here.
I'm with Sage on this one (surprise, surprise)...just WHY are you stepping down and hoping to go off your AD? You are STILL having depressive episodes, you've had MANY in the past years..Clinical Depression RARELY just goes away, it's cyclical.
Personally, I thought about cutting back on my Celexa this summer, but then the stressor regarding my office popped up and threw me for a loop.
Then last Saturday I had an entire day of weeping and feeling really down. Echoes of two years ago, anniversary of a friend's passing, continuing lack of PA from CJ...
I accept that I NEED that little serotonin boost, I'm way too overreactive without it. And I remember how YOU were before the AD's and when you missed a few days.
I wouldn't take this lightly at all. I agree with S, if you MUST get of the AD's you should have a therapist lined up for what that might dredge up.
Things are still so stressful for you, why now?
Concerned, but overall thrilled with how you're sounding!!
Thank you for the good day wish. Yesterday was rough but today seems much better. S told me I have to expect my emotions to be up and down through this process, but it certainly isn't much fun.
Glad you are weathering the storm and hoping it is getting better.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I am stepping them down now while I still have enough of them left from this order to get through the complete step down that the doctor outlined.
So is Clinical Depression something you have the rest of your life? It never goes away?
Yes, I definitely still have down days and the emotions were bad yesterday. Talked with S and he said I have to expect that and realize it is the medication and not to let it go into depression. Feel pretty good this afternoon, but it has had some ups and downs.
I agree, I am way too overreactive. Aren't there other ways to work on that other than with ad's?
I sent him an e-mail and said I THINK I can do this myself with a little bit of direction and asked if he might just talk with me a bit again so I have a direction lined out for myself, a plan if you will.
I have decided my life is going to stay stressful and I need to learn to deal with it better!
Thank you for the thrilled. Do you know how nice it is to hear that from you? You have been with me since the beginning. You, Sage and Cal. So you guys know where I started from.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Can you tell me what's going on with Pam? She keeps saying that she's going to have you either buy out her half of her and David's old house or she's going to have you deal with David during the selling. Is this just a stall tactic on her part? Or are you really considering either of the above suggestions?
Very curious, J
So anyone have any idea what to make of this e-mail from J to G?
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Actually I don't think this is the case. I did at first and then apologized to D for assuming.
I went off on his vm. Then went to the house and took him some awesome coffee beans we just got in at work. Apologized and was helpful on some of the stuff he was working on at the house. He is really working on it.
I also tipped him off on the lawn care people, that if he doesn't want them to do the leaves this year he probably needs to let them know or they will just automatically do them since they did them last year.
He thanked me for the info and the coffee beans.
I thanked him for returning my call and told him that I really appreciated it and that I totally did an emotional reaction and I was very sorry for jumping to conculusions. I also thanked him for being understanding that I was extra emotional with the step down in progress and his being understanding was very appreciated.
He said he accepted my apology and walked me out, that is when we were discussing the leaves. I also asked him if he would like to put a stack of his newspapers in my car that I would recycle them for him.
He did and right before leaving I asked if he would possibly be interested in a drive out towards Otter Creek to look at the leaves and he said maybe. Which is his standard response, but he now sometimes will say I don't think so.
My take is D isn't feeding J a lot of info either and she is trying to pump G for it. But who knows.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
