I agree with Chris that you do need to deal with this yourselves. I would say you both need to take time alone to figure out what it is you need. TL, you keep saying that you want to do good for RG, but what is it that *you* need?
And RG,this sounds bad, don't take it the wrong way, but do you have a 'life' away from TL? Meaning can you find something to do for just you to take your mind off of this? It sounds like you both need to take care of yourselves, before you can know what you want from the other.
Best of luck to you. You're both very lucky in that you obviously love each other, and care about each other a great deal. And you're both willing to invest time and energy to get to a better place. I hope you find it.
