Well, actually, in my case it has helped to be really specific about what i need him to do. If I tell him "I need you to put your arms around me and tell me I'm fabulous" he'll do it - of course, he'll do it NOW, he never would have before! And I don't care if he only did it because I told him to - I realize that sometimes he just doesn't know what to do.
I'll admit, it does still tick me off to feel like I really can't count on him to give me the same kind of support in a crisis that I give him - but I understand better now that it's more about his limitations than about his intentions.
