Quote: somehow when he feels worried I might abandon him, he loses the ability to offer me comfort in my pain - does that make any sense?
Oh, man, does it!
Hi, Ellie. I am new to your thread, also just back from vacation, and don't have time to read all the Val Day Massacre threads at the moment, and so in full discosure, I'm commenting with the benefit of only having read the synopsis.
That said, can I ask how you've handled the reassurance thing before? It's great that you called him on it and he came through, but has anything else worked in the past? Sometimes, it seems like they are letting you "win" if you ask for reassurance and they give it to you. S. used to do this and it drove me batty. I'd ask for reassurance and he'd get annoyed with me for being "demanding."
Anyway, I wonder, too, how much going dark played a part in getting your H to recommit. How did you go dark with him right there?
