Quote: once read an interesting book about emtional aikido. Do you know the one I mean? Would you know the name of it?
Sorry, don't know it. I think of it this way: instead of fighting back, validate, agree, drop the rope - and more often than not they will fall down!
Quote: My H is very aggressive, not so much physically, but full of bluster and abuse, when he feels threatened. Why I don't I see it for what it is?
It's pretty common that when the WAS feels guilty, they act out by showing anger and attacking. After all, if you don't fit their image of that terrible woman they were justified in leaving, then it throws off their whole world view - so they try to push you into behaving in a way that would justify what they are doing.
