I think too often we each get caught up in looking for changes in the other person, when really what we need to be doing is changing ourselves. That is the key to motivating them that we are serious, kwim?
Otherwise he will look at you and see you maintaining the status quo and think that he can do that, too.
When he sees that you are serious (serious enough to change yourself in whatever way you want/need to) he will know that he can't be complacent anymore.
