Holy cow, can I say how much good I see here in your report today?
He's actually sharing stuff with you again! Boy, am I glad you're back here and posting this stuff. Because it's good!
You did a great job with validating! Just remember, validating doesn't mean you agree with them or even understand things... but I really think it's encouraging him to be more forthright with his thoughts and feelings now.
All of a sudden, I was beamed back to my childhood and some raging insecurities came barging through... I remembered sharing my ideas with my family at the dinner table and receiving a consistent response from my dad... who, oddly enough, was typically my champion. So his disapproval really hurt.
He would put his utensils down and say loudly, "That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard! Your mother and I want [____________] for you instead."
Granted, some of them were dumb ideas. But many of them were actually verbalizations of things that I thought were good. The older I got, the more closed I became at sharing. When I did share, I used it as a means to push his buttons (and boy, did I get an A for my efforts there).
I think Sting might have wanted you to join him in a pity party. I know we hate them.... But, after all, how often have we had our own pity parties? I had mine the other day, and believe me, it was NOT pretty. In fact, I got stuck on a very petty issue and the resentments came glaring back.
UGH! This stuff sucks!
But despite the sucky nature of this beast, I see so many positives here. Was S happy to find his dad home this morning?
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Bets 