The dreaded me is back again. I hate to beat the dead horse again, and I could be beating the wrong one, but I have to come back and revisit the ex-wife thing.
It seems to me that your wife, in addition to her desire to live 'out', has a need for distance. Distance between you and your ex.
Some of the things you have written intimate that your ex plays a more prominent role in your current relationship than it should. If it is even a little too much for you, it could be a 100,000,000 candle power spotlight to your wife.
The trip to look at properties would be an attempt recognize her need for distance and prove it.
As I mentioned in a post way back when, the relationship with your ex, forced as it may be, is a sore point with your wife.
Since this is her first marriage, she has no other point of reference for dealing with ex-spouses. She is depending on you for those boundaries, and I suspect she might be very uncomfortable with the ones you have established.
That's all :-)
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
NOP: I appreciate what you're saying, and I know that the distance from ex was one reason she wanted to move. I have really tried to keep the two of them separate, especially lately. I don't think she feels particularly threatened by exW, just that ex is obnoxious and her obnoxiousness is magnified by the lack of distance between our houses.
I will consider what you recommended, though, in light of the reason behind it. I'll have to wait until a property opens up, however. We really did look at every property within our price range that had acreage.
I'll let you know how W responds to my email. As for stepping over the line when I called my ol' therapist for a recommendation, I'm never sure where the line is with her anyway, so I'm used to stepping over it. Hairdog - incoming frying pan!
NOP: Thanks, but I think we've already looked at every single available property within 20 miles over the last 4 months. What I did just do was send my wife the following email: Quote: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear MsHD: When you told me this morning that you were “on the edge” emotionally, I realized just how unhappy you are. I am worried about you and want to help you, but I am at a loss as to what I can do. You are so downhearted and I want you to be, at the very least, content. Short of turning back the clock to before you moved to Kansas City, I feel that there is one thing I can realistically do for you.
What I can do is provide you with two phone numbers. The first is the number of my Employee Assistance Program. As my wife, you are covered for up to 6 visits at no cost. The number is 800-xxx-xxxx.
The second number is for Maribeth XXXX, a psychologist in Liberty. I called my old therapist and asked her for a recommendation and she said Ms. XXXX is very good and uses cognitive therapy, whatever that is. Her number is 816-792-XXXX.
I would be pleased to go with you if you want me to. Your emotional well-being is critical and worth making time for.
