Quote: listen to her, offer help when she asks, offer "support" when she doesn't ask for it. It's a moving target to me.
I think your W and mine "went to the same school" in preparation for these M issues. I used to ask, "is there anything wrong?" and "is there anything that you want to talk about?" - got the usual "no, not really" answers. Now, I don't ask... I just start talking about my own point of view. If I wait for my W to bring something up, we can go days without talking.
Quote: I just talked to my old counselor and got a name of one for her. Now, I have to see if she will go. This is one horse that you often can't even lead to water, much less make it drink.
You what?!? It sounds like you "stepped over the line" again by getting the counselor name for her. That's just my opinion, I could be wrong.
I hope that you can talk with your W about how silly "I don't have time" sounds... honestly, that's a horrible answer when it comes to taking care of her health. I had a talk with my W last week. I told her that her "I don't have time for that" line sounded like an excuse after she has "made time" for other things of less importance (like crochet projects and fund raisers and 2 hour shopping/lunch trips to a wholesale club or the mall). I told her that I worry about her when she makes time for those things but DOESN'T even consider making time to talk to a counselor about her anxiety and "issues." W more or less agreed that I was right.
