I hateto be negative and this isnt me saying time to give up (that would be your call, and yours only) but some of the things happening do have legal ramifications, and If you do get divorced can be used for you or against you.

Most divorce lawyers will imediately tell you to, well get divorced. I suggest that you do talk to a lawyer there are things that you can do now JUST IN CASE it doesn't work out that can help you later.

We never buy insurance hoping to use it but it is god to have in place.

sorry to bring a new aspect of this into the discussion.