When we last left Hairdog, he had sent his W an email (following a weird midnight conversation about girlfriends and going bonkers) and she had replied somewhat nicely that we would have a talk this weekend (now last weekend) about emotional closeness. Against Corri's wishes, I had cut out a part of the email about not wanting to be celibate any more. Look back into pages 4-7 of this thread to find those messages, I am too tired to link to them.

Corri came back and said this about me leaving out the celibacy part of the email:
Quote:

The second he brings up sex, she can say, "I thought you said this wasn't about sex? I thought we were talking about how emotionally disconnected you are feeling?"



Corri, can I just let you run my life from now on? She said almost exactly that. Let me back up and tell you how it happened.

We had a fairly pleasant weekend, and Sunday morning I asked if she was ready to talk about the email exchange.
W: There's not much to talk about. Just spending time together helps me feel closer to you (Quality time?).
H: Well, I wanted to talk about the fact that I feel you are pushing me away. Like when you move my hand away saying it is too hot.
W: But that's just because it is too hot, that's nothing to do with emotional connection.
(oh no...)
H: Well, it does with me, because I want to be able to touch and be touched, and when I can't, that's when I feel emotionally disconnected.
W: That's not why I move your hand. I'm just hot.

The conversation abruptly ended here, as DD3 woke up, and we gave her attention.

Later, I had to spend 2 hours on the phone with Dell because my CDROM drive is messed up. I got off the phone about 9:30, went into the kitchen, and said to my wife, who was in the living room, watching TV, "I read something on CNN about ..."
W: can you wait? I want to hear this (motioning to tv).
H: (quieter, but NOT mumbling) that's okay, it wasn't important. (It really wasn't, I was just making small talk and didn't realize she was so into the tv program).
W: (LOUDLY) THAT'S what I'm talking about! Your sarcastic comments like that are what keeps me from getting close to you!
Hairdog goes on washing a dish in the kitchen and, finished, starts to head downstairs.
W: Where are you going?
H: Downstairs to watch tv. I don't want to try to figure out what's going on halfway into this show.
W: You asked me earlier for a list of things you do that pisses me off (no, I had asked her for a list of things that would make us closer), well, this is one of them. Sarcastic comments don't meke me feel closer to you. Put that on your list.
H: Thank you.

After a while, I went to bed, and, predictably, she was still on the warpath when she came up. This is when I brought up the fact that, when I sent the email to her, I was talking about emotional closeness in all respects, and, as she knew, I need physical touch to feel emotionally close. That's when Corri's prediction came out and she said that line that every one of us HD's have heard repeatedly, "It's ALL about sex!"

She also told me to get out of HER bed, HER house, and threatened to move to her Mom's house (in another state) so that I couldn't file for divorce (which, frankly, I didn't understand...her best bet would be to file today, and get an order of protection, forbidding me to live in the house). She also picked up the phone, said she was going to dial 911 and tell the police that I was ABUSING her!

This, from a woman who cringes at other women who play the "victim" role. Gloria Steinem would be ashamed of her.

She actually did dial the phone (not 911, but some other number) and then quickly hung up. Then, she got the video camera because she wanted me to watch myself and how I was behaving.

Understand, that I was doing MAJOR HOM here. I was calm, not agreeing with her skewed view of reality, and not backing down...but I wasn't screaming, either. She was. I finally left the room and went to sleep elsewhere.

This morning, we had another short talk and I told her that I thought her 911 trick was despicable, that her perception of my comments that set her off as "sarcastic" was wrong, and that she had some kind of disconnect between her ears and her brain that sometimes made everything I said sound evil. I refused to back down, refused to admit I had done anything wrong. I told her that she had broken her promise to me that she would never call it "her" bed or "her" house; to which she said, "I was just trying to get you out of it!" I guess the ends justify the means?

This conversation also ended abruptly, when DD3 woke up (as a result of W's raised voice) and I refused to continue the argument in front of her.

I'm tired. Not much sleep last night. And I'm tired of dealing with her.

Corri - I wish I'd listened to you. In my attempt to be non-confrontational, I ended up screwing myself.

I really think there is little hope for happiness with this woman.

Hairdog - dog tired of it all.