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I think you should have addressed the "hand push" right when it happened. If you want your sex life to improve, you have to make it your absolute top priority for a while. That might mean not worrying about getting a good night's sleep or cancelling social engagements etc. The last big crucible convo that my H and I had started right before we were due at my MIL's for lunch. My H called her and said "Mojo and I are having a big fight. I'm sorry but we are going to have to skip brunch.". We didn't even concern ourselves with the fact that it was obvious to our kids that we were "fighting". You really need to get to the point where it is clear to both of you just exactly what is at stake and how important it is to address it.




MM,

Thanks for sharing this. It's so easy to forget that it's gotta go this way - I keep thinking I should wait for a good time, try to plan things so that H is rested and in a good mood, we don't have anything going on...but we'll never get anywhere that way.

H informed me this morning that's he's already starting to feel the winter 'blues', and it's going to be bad this year. (this isn't really an avoidance technique, he does have SAD in a bad way, and this year will be bad, as we didn't have any sun this summer either) So I'm starting to feel like they'll be no real progress 'till spring . Guess I have to make H understand that he has to treat that, too.